This a story about the future titled tested tell me what you think!?

This isn't suited to writing in the first person. When you write "I" you only get to tell us about things that "I" can feel or see or hear, or already knows. She can't see veins pulsing out of her face, or how tall she is, and if she can barely feel the tears she isn't going to be thinking about them. This doesn't read at all as if she's in severe pain, it reads as if she's an outside observer noting details.